The University of California, Berkeley has a 4% population of Black undergraduate students on campus. This is not a number I am unfamiliar with, as I grew up in a town that had very similar demographics to Cal, with white and Asian populations being the most dominant groups. This experience often felt isolating. When I experienced microaggressions in class or on the playground, I sounded crazy. People thought my afro was a part of Crazy Hair Day even though I wore it for a week prior. I always stood out, and sometimes, it wasn’t in a good way.
In some ways, these feelings of isolation have persisted since being in college. I often find myself being the only Black student in discussion sections and seminars or one of few in larger lectures. However, living in African American Theme Housing, the famed “Afro Floor,” has allowed me to find a community that has greatly benefited my overall Berkeley experience.
I am approaching the conclusion of my year on the Afro Floor, and in honor of this brand new experience of living with Black students and Black resident assistants, I thought I would share some highlights (and hindrances) of my experience being Black at Berkeley.
The lowlights:
1. Class can be awkward.
Most Black students in non-Black spaces will tell you they’ve experienced that look in class before, the one that comes your way after a professor starts talking about slavery or the Civil Rights Movement. Yeah, that one.
When you are the only person in a group of people that may have had firsthand experience or knowledge on the topic being discussed, it’s natural for people to assume that you have something to say about it. However, the pressure of being a voice that represents an entire group of people can sometimes be a more pressured position to be in as a Black student in a classroom where you are alone in terms of racial identity. Not necessarily a preferable one.
2. Not everyone gets it.
During those times you opt to stay silent in discussions centered around Black issues, it can lead to a conversation that doesn’t truly address the most important nuances of our experiences. While reading The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison last semester, a book that primarily focuses on colorism and misogynoir within the Black community, I often felt inclined to clarify the book’s messages to my classmates from a perspective they did not have.
At an institution as forward-thinking as Berkeley, conversations related to these kinds of issues will surely arise, but for someone who's experienced them firsthand, it can be hard to hear your peers speak on something they will never truly be able to grasp completely.
3. It feels like there’s a spotlight on you.
Maybe it’s just me, but any time I walk into a classroom, I immediately count to see how many other Black students are there with me. The number is never very high.
Many of my friends have said being the only Black student in some of their classes has made them afraid to make mistakes or participate in difficult conversations for fear of their shortcomings being directly tied to their identity. This anxiety leads to an extra layer of pressure for Black students in the classroom, on top of the already overwhelming ones every Berkeley student can feel subjected to.
The highlights:
However, this experience is not all bad. In fact, I would say my time here so far has been nothing short of amazing, despite the hiccups. A lot of this amazingness I’ve experienced has been a direct result of being a Black student on this campus, too.
1. You’re bound to stand out.
So maybe you’re the only person with deep brown skin and coily black hair in your discussion section. No one will ever forget you! Our uniqueness and inevitably fresh perspective acts as a beacon of light that ensures that classmates and professors alike remember what you have to say. Being starkly different from my peers has allowed me to make a mark on those I encounter everyday, a benefit that can definitely be used to one’s advantage.
2. Those who came before you want to see you succeed.
Cal alumni are notoriously passionate about their Golden Bear Pride, but it exceeds the unattainable limit by 110% when considering Black alumni and faculty and their hopes and aspirations for current Black students. At an institution as prestigious as this, while young Black students are disproportionately at a disadvantage in receiving higher education, Black adults on and around campus are proud to see generations of students that look like them continuing their legacy.
These amazing alumni and faculty are able to offer students with phenomenal opportunities such as research projects, internships and even advice on personal issues that will benefit in the future, both short and long term. Events put on by the Cal Black Alumni Association also allow students to foster community with each other and alumni through exciting cookouts and performances.
3. We’re all in this together.
When I first arrived at Berkeley, my sister’s husband (and former Golden Bear) told me about The Rule: if you see another Black person on campus, whether they are a student, faculty member or staff, you must smile and/or nod at them as a sign of acknowledgement and respect. Since that day, I make sure to make eye contact with every Black person I come across on campus, sharing with them my warmest smile and strongest nod of recognition.
This small act may seem insignificant, but it is moments like these on a campus that rarely sees Black students that make the experiences worth it. The Black community at Berkeley and sense of family it exhibits are a direct result of those experiences: we know how crucial it is that we stick together and what a difference it makes if we do. My year on the Afro Floor, in Diaspora Magazine or working for the Black Student Union have all demonstrated this to me in a variety of ways, and inadvertently reassured me that Berkeley is the place for me.
To any Black students who are on the fence about choosing Berkeley, or feel like Cal might not have been the right choice for them, I implore you to consider what the best parts about being Black are, and how you can make those moments yours on this campus. College will always be what you make of it, and thankfully, Berkeley gives you resources to make it the best four years of your life as a part of a small, but mighty community you will never forget.