Before coming to Berkeley, I knew university would be challenging. I expected difficult classes, late nights studying, and moments when I would question whether I understood anything from a lecture; however, I also imagined finding my people, joining clubs, getting a job, and making the memories everyone talks about when they remember their university years. What I did not fully understand was how difficult it would be to make room for all of these things while also taking care of myself. Now, as a fourth-year student, I can honestly say that I am barely finding that balance.
There is something strange about admitting that when I am already in my last year. Part of me feels like I should have figured it out a long time ago. By now, shouldn’t I know how to manage my classes, responsibilities, friendships, and personal life without feeling overwhelmed? But being here for several years has helped me understand just how much a university asks of us. Every semester brings different expectations, and just when I think I have a routine that works, something changes. Learning how to adjust has been its own education.
Academics at Berkeley are hard, and they take up so much more time than the hours listed on your class schedule. A lecture ends, but the work continues through readings, assignments, papers, studying, and trying to understand the material you did not quite grasp the first time. Sometimes, an assignment that I think will take an hour ends up taking an entire afternoon. There are days when I can spend hours doing schoolwork and still finish feeling behind. It becomes difficult to step away because there is almost always something else I could be working on.
And yet, school is only one part of the life I want here. I want to join organizations that connect me with people who share my interests. I want to work, gain experience, and contribute to the communities I care about. I want to say yes to opportunities because I know my time at Berkeley is limited. Each commitment can be meaningful on its own, which makes it difficult to recognize when all of them together have become too much. It is hard to turn something down when I can see a reason to care about it.
That pressure can make every decision feel heavier than it needs to be. If I stay in to study, I wonder what I am missing with my friends. If I go out, I think about the assignment waiting for me when I get home. If I spend an evening resting, I can find a reason to feel guilty about both. It is exhausting to be physically present in one place while mentally listing all the other places I think I should be. Even the moments I looked forward to can become difficult to enjoy when my mind never settles.
Meanwhile, the everyday responsibilities keep coming. I still need to cook, wash dishes, do laundry, clean up my space, and figure out when to buy groceries. I need enough sleep to function and enough time alone to understand how I am actually feeling. These things sound simple until they are squeezed between classes, work, meetings, and deadlines. Sometimes, what overwhelms me is the realization that after a long day of being responsible everywhere else, I still have to come home and be responsible for myself. There is no pause button on the ordinary work of living.
I wish someone had talked to me more honestly about this before attending university. I heard plenty about how demanding Berkeley would be academically, but I did not hear nearly as much about how difficult it could be to maintain a life around those academics. That struggle caught me off guard. I thought being organized and motivated would be enough, and when they were not, it was easy to assume I was doing something wrong. I wish I had known that caring deeply about school, friendships, work, and yourself can create competing needs that a planner alone cannot resolve.
Being in my fourth year has made me reconsider what I am expecting when I say I want balance. I used to imagine a routine where everything received enough attention every day. Now, I am learning to look at what I need in a particular week and make choices from there. During a busy academic week, I might have less time to socialize. After spending too much time buried in work, I might need to make seeing friends a priority. The difficult part is noticing when a temporary adjustment has turned into consistently neglecting something important.
I am also learning that maintaining friendships does not always require a big plan or an entire free evening. Sometimes, connection happens over a quick meal, a walk after class, or studying together. Those moments count, too. I do not want to overlook the friendships I am building because they do not always look like the university stories I imagined. A memory can be an ordinary conversation that made a hard day easier. Giving those smaller moments value has helped me make room for people without feeling like every interaction needs to become an unforgettable event.
Most of all, I am trying to stop treating my well-being as something I can address after everything else is finished. There will always be another assignment, another shift, or another invitation. If taking care of myself depends on having nothing left to do, I will keep postponing it. Eating a meal, getting some sleep, and setting a boundary, and admitting that I am overwhelmed all affect how I move through the rest of my life. When I repeatedly ignore my own needs, it becomes harder to concentrate, follow through on commitments, and be present with the people I love.
I am still figuring this out, and I want to be honest about that. Being a fourth-year student does not mean I have mastered Berkeley or learned how to make every part of my life fit comfortably together. However, I am becoming more willing to listen to myself and make choices that I can actually sustain. I want to leave with meaningful memories, strong friendships, and pride in what I have learned. I also want to feel well enough to enjoy the life I am building. Taking care of myself is what makes that possible, and I am finally learning to give it room.