To me, the idea of “my 20s” is a little intimidating. Online, you see all of these people who have become multimillionaires by 23, and so so so many videos about “How I Made the Most of My 20s”, “Life Lessons to Learn by 30”, etc. And like many others, I watch and listen to these random people give me advice about how to live my life with great interest. I’m anxious to soak up any information that would lead me to a more fulfilling life, and I have been doing this for years.
And now that the special 20th birthday is getting closer and closer, I am starting to dread it rather than feel excited or inspired. I feel so much pressure to be happy and fulfilled while also being successful and inspiring. It can make me feel guilty sometimes when I don’t have anything in a day planned, like I am wasting my time not building the life experiences I see others have online. I am writing this to others who might feel the same way, and describe to them some self-remedies I've come up with.
Now, I am no expert on how to feel content with growing up. I have accepted that it is something I will learn as I experience my own life and my own path. In the meantime, however, I have decided that if I am anxious about growing up, I might as well “grow down” instead.
So I practice acting like a kid.
In my opinion, kids themselves have a lot of wisdom and advice that we take for granted. I was at this festival and a little girl (sounded like she was no more than 5 years old) went up on stage talking about what she liked about a drawing she made. She said something along the lines of “my drawing is perfect because…I made it” and that inspired me. There is a lot of wisdom in the simple concept of things being perfect just because they are something that I made, or something that I did
So I doodle, and dance, and run through sprinklers and roll down grassy hills. I steal my friends' phones too and take silly photos, like we’ve all done with our parents’ phones as kids. And these are perfect activities for me. They bring me joy and sustain my inner child. It doesn't have to be any more complicated than that. No big travel plans, or focusing on the future. Just focusing on the small things I can do in order to make the mundane a little more fun. No matter what, I am going to spend time doing laundry or paying rent, but who says I cannot make up some games for myself like a bored kid in a grocery store?
During the school year, there were so many activities for me to act this sort of way. At Berkeley, different clubs and residential halls will host events (I’ve made so many tote bags), the student union hosts craft nights where I’ve made a friendship bracelet with my best friend, I’ve gotten to play drag bingo, etc. There was one time I was in a lot of physical pain and what helped me the most was making one of those stickers where you stick jewels in the right numbered spots to create some bedazzled creature. I got that sticker kit and kept it from a Valentine’s Day event hosted up where I lived in Stern, and something as simple as that helped me a lot. Another core memory of mine is when a sprinkler was spewing up water and leaking heavily right outside of Valley Life Sciences Building after my Physics 7A final. And when me and my friends were all walking out, tired and ready to rest after a tough couple of hours, I immediately took my friend's hand and we ran through it, playing and having a fun time. When I listen to music, I mouth the words and dance along even in public. I do not feel too embarrassed or scared to do so because what do I have to be embarrassed about? I am having fun and that’s nothing to be ashamed about. I felt the same while playing in the water with my friend, I was acting like a kid, and that is exactly the way I want to be.
As I enter my 20s soon, and have to deal with things like rent, groceries, taxes, etc, instead of looking for advice on how to grow up the best way to be my happiest self, I am going to try to grow down and be a kid for as long as I possibly can.