I Realize That I am Not a Great Roommate
I will be honest with y’all, I’m not a very good roommate. I'm not any the horror stories that you have probably heard, but I have the memory of a goldfish. I forget to clean and do chores A LOT. I am terrible at remembering to clean dishes after I make dinner and they often build up over a couple of days. I am the kind of roommate that makes you quietly irritated, but really has not done anything bad enough to prompt a full on intervention. There is a lot of us out there, the slightly infuriating roommates who aren’t terrible, but are clearly not doing their best. This article is for all of us.
If you are wondering if you are at risk of being a slightly infuriating roommate, then I would suggest asking yourself a few questions:
1) Am I an only child?
As an only child I will admit that the notion of only children being difficult roommates can sometimes have some merit. I had my own room growing up and was used to it being messy. my parents would only say to clean it like occasionally, so I had no experience keeping a clean space in order to be kind to others. Freshmen year would be my first experience having a roommate and I was nervous about sharing a room for the first time. When I was preparing for college, I was nervous about who I was going to have for a roommate and if I would like them, but I was even more nervous about what kind of roommate I would be. When I moved in with my roommate, I found out a lot about myself in that first month of sharing a room. I discovered my what my pet peeves are and also what I did that irritated my roommate. Throughout the semester we would have roommate check-ins where we would edit our dorm rules and discuss what’s irritating each other. This really helped prevent resentment from building towards each other.
2) Was I good about doing my chores growing up?
I was terrible at keeping up with my chores when I was a kid and it got worse as a teenager. My parents were always on me about not doing the dishes or forgetting to vacuum. It was also much different growing up in a house with two other people I knew well compared to a dorm room with someone I just met. My roommate and I in the first week of moving in not only created dorm rules, but also a chores calendar. This was really helpful for me because there were clear expectations and I knew I would be accountable for doing my part.
3) Lastly, are you generally a forgetful person?
I am a very forgetful person and am constantly forgetting to do everything, including chores. I will tell myself I need to wash the dishes before I leave for class, then ten minutes later I’ll get to class and realize I forgot to do the dishes. This was really difficult on my roommate who often dealt with chores and dishes piling up and had to constantly remind me to do them. I felt bad and tried out many different strategies to help me remember to do chores. What I ended finding to be the most useful was sticky notes. I would leave a sticky note by the kitchen sink reminding me to do dishes and one on our front door reminding me to check the chores schedule. This really helped me remember to keep up with chores and took away my roommate’s burden of having to constantly remind me.
I have improved significantly at being a good roommate over my past two years at Berkeley, but I have to admit I still have a lot to improve on. I am trying to be more self-aware of how my actions and my problems affect those around, especially those I live with. In doing so I hope to not only become a better roommate, but also a better person. If you are nervous about living in the dorms or sharing a room for the first time, that is okay. You will learn so much about yourself through those experiences and hopefully be a better roommate than me. You got this!