Socializing Tips from a Campus Ambassador (and Journalism Minor!)
Although I enjoy talking to people, it doesn’t come naturally. To be honest, I’m not the most sociable person in the room. That said, I can articulate the skills I’ve acquired because I’ve had to learn them myself. As a campus ambassador, I get paid to talk to people, and as a journalism minor, I’m required to for my grades. Many tips I’ve gleaned are from books and websites, but I’ve also picked up several just by observing how others socialize. When I’m working, I’ll note how friendly visitors strike up conversations or what fellow campus ambassadors say. During journalism interviews, I pay close attention to my interviewees’ words so I can ask follow up questions. So without further ado, here are my tips for socializing:
Starting conversations
- Note any interesting trinkets that people have, like pins, hair clips, cool shirts, etc. I like complimenting people’s bags when I work in the Campanile, our bell tower.
- Find commonalities if possible. I love meeting people with the same major or who are from my hometown.
- Noticing common themes can help to discern people’s interests. I noticed that a relative had a lot of pink items, so I asked if it was their favorite color, and they said yes.
Continuing conversations
- Focus more on the other person than yourself. Try to think of it as getting to know their life story, and be interested in everything they say. Ex: if someone says “I’ve hiked almost every trail in Berkeley,” you could say something like “is hiking one of your hobbies?” or “what trails do you recommend?”
- Sometimes statements can be a great way to get a response without asking a question; if you comment on something, they might expand on it. Ex: someone might say, “I love art but I’m not sure if it’s the right career path.” you could then say “that sounds like a difficult decision.” Then, they might expand on how the decision has affected them.
- Reflect what people say in your own words without repeating it exactly. Ex: if someone’s like, “I’ve toured UCLA, UCSD, and UC Davis,” you could reply, “seems like you’re mostly interested in the UCs.”
Additional advice
- Be okay with silence. Sometimes people just wanna vibe and that’s okay. In interviewing, silence is actually encouraged to give the interviewee time to think; they might even say more than you expect if you stay silent for a beat longer.
- Don’t be afraid to clarify stuff! I used to be so scared of this because I wanted to seem knowledgeable and aware of every situation. But in my journalism classes, I learned that you have to verify people’s statements to publish accurate facts. So if I’m unsure about a timeline or process, I now try to confirm. A subtle way to do this is repeating what they said and then tacking on “is that right?” at the end. Some other phrases I’ve used are “remind me again?” or “can you re-explain?” or “can you walk me through the process of ___?”
Ending a conversation
- I’ll be honest, I’m very bad at ending conversations. Usually I say “thank you so much for your time” or “bye, have a nice day” depending on the context. For me, what helps is to mentally prepare something nice to say at the end. Like if I know I have a meeting right afterward, I might say “it was so nice talking, but unfortunately I have to go.”
- It’s a little more awkward when you technically don’t have to leave, but you want to respectfully exit the conversation. In that case, I usually state what I’m going to do next – “I’m going to the bathroom” or “I think I’m going to check out the games over there” – but I leave the conversation open in case I bump into the person again.
- Another thing you can do is indicate you have to leave a little bit before the end of the conversation. That way it’s less abrupt. You can say something like “I think I’m gonna head over there in a few minutes” but keep chatting until then so the person knows their company isn’t unwanted.
Hopefully that helps! Best of luck with all the interesting people you meet!